Not that people are paying attention anymore, but I am moving this blog over to blogger. If you have a feed you will need to visit http://blog.jparks.net and subscribe to the new feed.

Sorry I’ve been away from my blog, I’ve been working more late nights than I wish to count. I haven’t had much time for posting but something that has recently occurred has really got my mind going. This past weekend, my good friend Shaler got engaged. Many congrats go out to Shaler and his woman. And while I am very happy for them, I am also a tiny bit sad for myself. I never considered that I would have to share Shaler with another and now I’m afraid I might have lost him forever.

As I sit here at my desk I realize that I might never have another hug from Shaler. This makes me sad as I feel safest in his arms. No other person seems to understand me the way he does. I don’t want to go all brokeback on ya’ll, but I just don’t know how to quit Shaler.

The wedding will be hard to attend. I’m afraid to let people see me cry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to hold in my tears. Shaler, I’ll try to be strong for you, but I can’t make any promises. Perhaps I can find comfort in the arms of another.

Jham, will you hold me?

Some one discovered Wack A Mole;-)

The funny thing about this is that if you tap on my face it looks like I am punching my self. Also this was not my idea.

Check out the Gizmodo article.

UPDATE
Engadget now has some pictures of Lily too.

UPDATE 2.0
Another picture of Lily.

Today we finally announced the project that I’ve been working on.

I seemed to have forgotten to make my “Where’s jparks?” post before leaving for Hawaii. Ooops. Well I am back from, as they say here in California, va-cay.

The rejoicing has ended. My excitement about flip flops has come to an end. Now I can’t even remember why I was so excited about getting flip flops. Maybe because they were forbidden is what made them appealing and something I HAD TO HAVE! But after nine days of wearing them, my blistered feet have had enough. Maybe this was Regan’s plan all along. Buy me cheap flip flops so my feet will hurt and I would not want to wear them. Well, if that was her plan it worked. I don’t even want to see if nice flip flops wouldn’t hurt my feet. I just want to go throw both pairs that she bought me in the ocean now. I am a broken man…

I make fun of Regan all the time for saying that she is afraid to take yoga. “The instructor tells me to bring my anus back to which it came from”, she always says. I never believed that an instructor would say something so hippieish. After today I won’t make fun of her any more for saying that. We have been taking a yoga class in the morning, and yeah I know we are insane for waking up at 6:30 am while on vacation. Yesterday’s session was fine. We were on the beach and exercising the whole time. But today we had a hippie for a teacher. He rattled on about how yoga, real yoga, had nothing to with exercise. We westerners could not grasp the concept of yoga. We had to adopt it to our way of thinking and as Madonna says, we live in a material world, and that is why we made yoga into an exercise. He then proceeded to ramble on about unions and what not throughout the whole class. With all his ramblings and preaching I didn’t get any exercise. If I wanted to listen to some hippie shit I would have joined a drum circle. All I could think while listening to him was Cartman saying, “I’ve been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five”.

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a book. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve written a book report since 10th grade. This should be interesting.

When I was thinking of how to write this post I kept thinking that I need to describe the book as a mash-up of two other iconic books or movies. For some reason I have it in my head, which I must admit deviates from reality from time to time, that this is how most professional reviewers review books and movies. Now that I have that notion in my head I, of course, couldn’t write this review any other way.

The problem is what two pieces of pop culture do I pick that will fully sum up this book? You see I really liked this book. It was by far the best book I’ve read in a long, long time. I generally read books that I like the story but the writing isn’t going to make the book a classical piece of literature. Not only was Android’s Dream a clever and fast paced story, but the writing was also very good. I liked it so much that I am actually keeping the book. Normally I like to give away the books that I like so that someone else can enjoy the story too.

What are the two iconic pieces of pop culture that sum up this book? I can only think of two movies that could describe this book, it’s The Bourne Identity meets The Fifth Element.

If you don’t like either of those movies don’t let this hack of a review sway you away from reading this book. The fact that I am writing this post should contest to how much I really liked the book.

[I wrote this months ago but forgot to hit publish. Oops!]

While holding your cat just after you plunge the Prozac down her throat to make sure she actually swallowed it, one would think that the greatest danger would be being bitten or scratched. That is in fact not the greatest danger. The greatest danger would that your cat is so pissed off at you for shoving Prozac down her throat that she starts flinging slobber as thick as molasses around on you and everything in a 10 ft. radius like she was Slimmer.

See this post to find out why we are drugging our cat.

Would you like to know how I know this? She showed me that she loves me by calling up Barnes and Noble to see if they had a D&D book that I wanted. You are probably saying to yourself that this really isn’t a big deal, it’s just a book. I would agree with you, but she makes a point of telling everyone that I am very lucky to be married, a point which I do not dispute, because I play, as she puts it, dork games.

If calling and seeing if they had the book was not enough to prove her love for me, she actually went and purchased it! Again you are probably thinking this isn’t a big deal, but apparently the booksellers at Barnes and Noble, which she used to be, look down upon and criticize the people that buy dork books. For her to brave the scrutiny of her peers was most definitely a testament of her love. Whether this was for me or her secret love of D&D, I do not know;-)

To further our circus act, Regan and I started taking trampoline classes tonight to help improve our dismounts from the trapeze bar. As a kid I’ve always known someone with a trampoline and always enjoyed jumping on one. I was a little shocked when Regan said that she has never jumped on a trampoline before. Then the shock turned into concern because she is the only person I know that can easily give themselves a concussion.

So how did the class go? She was better at it than I was. That is up until the point where she started trash talking and told me that she was going to show me how it was done. After losing control of her bounce, she managed to knee herself in the head and fling herself half way across the trampoline to hit hard into the springs around the edge. If it wasn’t for two big padded things sitting on the edge of the trampoline she would have flung herself straight over the edge.

For anyone keeping score, here are the injuries so far:

Regan:

• Landed in the net wrong and hurt her neck, which resulted in five hours in Urgent Care.
• Bad take off from the trapeze platform, which resulted in an injured shoulder.
• Got cocky on the trampoline, which resulted in hurt pride and most likely bruised forehead.

Jason:

• No injuries to date despite the fact that he got dropped on his head from the trapeze.

Today is Groundhog day. This is a day that has been much anticipated here in the Parks’ household. Why? This Winter the only way Regan would let me grow out my beard, better known as my Winter coat, was that come Spring I would shave off my entire beard. Yes, my entire beard! No goatee. No mustache. No mutton chops. It had to all go.

While Spring officially doesn’t come until the end of March, this hasn’t stopped Regan from asking “Is it Spring yet?” A few weeks ago when she asked is it Spring yet, I told her that we would know when Spring was going to be on Groundhog Day. I made an error here. I thought the legend said that if the groundhog didn’t see his shadow that winter would be extended longer than it normally is. While in reality, which sometimes I don’t pay attention to, if the groundhog did see his shadow then Spring would come early. I have to start paying attention to things!

Right now the following groundhogs have seen their shadow, Punxsutawney Phil, Staten Island Chuck, Wiarton Willie, Shubenacadie Sam and General Beauregard Lee. Which means that I will be shaving my Winter coat soon;-(

Or at least that was what I was told today after my trapeze class today. Unlike Regan, I had no fear of jumping off a platform high in the air. She was a little skeptical when I told her this before I took the class. I had to explain that as kids we would climb trees and who ever could hang and drop from the highest point would win. It was like monkey’s version of dare. Of course, this elicited the normal question of: Were you retarded as a kid?(tm)

I had a very productive first class. The only thing I had to try twice was a back flip. I was a little confused on what I was suppose to do and forgot to let go of the bar when I finally got into position. I was able to do three catches of the first trick. I hope I do as well on the second trick next week.

I’ve started a photoset, both on Picasa and Flickr, of our trapeze classes. I also have video of Regan attempting the second trick.

What is the IFL? That’s the question that most people ask when we tell them that we went and saw the IFL on Friday Night. It stands for International Fight League, which as their site puts it, is the world’s first team-based professional mixed martial arts league.

I had very low expectations of this event and was going mostly to see what it was about. The girls, Regan, Whitney, and Mary-Lynn, were more excited than I was. How excited were they? When Regan sent me an email about the event the subject line read: “ASSWHUPPIN”. I wasn’t so sure why they were so excited, but after going I can see why they got pump up. For that matter, I can see why people like boxing so much. There’s nothing like watching a guy get put in a choke hold and pass out to get your blood going.

I’ve failed yet again to acquire a Wii on another Wii day;-( Stupid E-bayers.

I was going to post this a while ago but never got around to it. I even had a clever idea of writing it in the form of a break up letter. But for some reason I’m in a creative slump and never finished it;-(

I traded in my MINI Cooper S in for a Volvo S40. Why? After moving back out here, I was quickly reminded of one of the major reasons I hate living in the Bay Area: traffic. Traffic here sucks! It sucks even more when you are driving a standard. It really sucks when you are the only person in your household who can drive a standard. So if we did take my car out I would always be the driver. That also meant that I was always the designated driver. That sucked ass.

After Regan got her new car (a kick ass Volvo C70) I thought that we would just take her car every where and I would only use the MINI for going to and from work. That didn’t work out so great since we decided to lease her car so she can get a wagon in a few years when we decide to have kids. With the lease we could only put 12,000 miles a year on her car. In the Bay Area you can put that on in a few months. After the miles started racking up really fast, it was back to me driving the MINI if we wanted to go any where. That sucked ass.

Just over a month and a half of when Regan got her car, I went and traded Danni in for Donna. I never pictured myself driving anything other than the fastest, smallest, semi-luxury car I could find. But I have to admit that I am rather enjoying driving my “adult” car.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and I’ve decided it was time I spruced up the place a bit and start posting again.

I sort of went on a mini-rant to Regan and Whitney earlier today about how New Year’s Resolutions don’t count until unless they are presented in a bullet pointed list, here are my New Year’s resolutions, in no particular order:

• Publish at least 52 posts this year and attempt to participate in this year’s NaBloPoMo (that is if they have it again).

  I pretty sure I can do the first part but the second part may be bit ambitious. But I figured I would at least attempt it.

• Go on a diet, get buffed, and take fencing lessons.

  After my plan of beating my brother senseless with a foam sword back fired on me, I figured it was time that I get in shape. I need the fencing lessons because my punk brother works construction and I have a desk job; there is no way I will be able to get stronger than him. Hopefully better swordsmanship will be able to defeat his berzerker rage.

• Acquire a Wii.

  I missed out on acquiring this past Christmas. It was my fault that I didn’t get one. Initially I thought I would build up some serious good karma by letting all the little kids that wanted one for Christmas get one before I did. What, surprised by my selfless act? Don’t worry it didn’t last long, my stance on the matter changed as soon as I played one. I think my exact statement was, “Screw the kids! I have to have one!” Plus the more I thought about it, it wasn’t me that would prevent some kid from getting one, it is those damn eBayers. All I had to do then was not buy one from eBay and I would not incur any bad karma. Since then I’ve been hunting for a Wii.

• Sort my Warlord collection

  It’s gotten out of control.

• Start cooking again

  Google has totally spoiled me when it comes to food. Since I’ve started working there I haven’t really been motivated to cook my own meals. Why would I when I have chefs that are better cooks than me, cooking three meals a day? But it turns out, I don’t actually eat three meals a day at Google. And the money that I thought I was saving was actually being spent on dining out at night and on the week-ends.

• Take more pictures

  Regan has taken control over all the camera’s in the house, which has led me to take less pictures in 2006. Not this year!

• Turn off the bathroom light

  Warning, this was put on my list by Regan and I might not get it accomplished;-) The fan in the bathroom comes on when you turn on the light. For some reason, that little fan is the only thing that can wake her up from her coma like sleep.

jham: I needed a long sentence.
me: I got a long sentence for your mom, if you know what I mean.
jham: Yeah, you’re all talk.

I found this article on digg. I totally can’t see the numbers or the gradients. I had to cheat and ask some random person what numbers where in the circles and exactly where they were so I can pretend not to be color blind;-)