While holding your cat just after you plunge the Prozac down her throat to make sure she actually swallowed it, one would think that the greatest danger would be being bitten or scratched. That is in fact not the greatest danger. The greatest danger would that your cat is so pissed off at you for shoving Prozac down her throat that she starts flinging slobber as thick as molasses around on you and everything in a 10 ft. radius like she was Slimmer.

See this post to find out why we are drugging our cat.

Moving to the Bay Area.

We are about to sedate the cats and head to the airport. This should be a very interesting flight.

Regan and I are very busy this week getting ready for our move to California. We got so much to do that she’s actually broken down and created a list for herself. Here’s my list so far for the week:

04/03/2006

• Read Chapters 5, 6, 8, and 9 of Statistics for Dummies
• Perform a trial run of sedating the cats
• Call old Landlord…Make Regan call old Landlord
• Call to see if a hotel stay will be paid for our last two nights in Austin
• Finish sorting Warlord cards
• Start working on state taxes
• Start packing clothes
• Walk Lily ^1.
• Make hotel reservations
• Take out the trash

04/04/2006

• Read Chapters 10, 11, 12, and 13 of Statistics for Dummies
• Finish Taxes
• Pack more clothes

04/05/2006

• Read Chapters 14, 15, 16, and 17 of Statistics for Dummies
• Pack more stuff that isn’t going to be shipped
• Walk Lily

04/06/2006

• Read Chapters 18, 19, 20, and 21 of Statistics for Dummies
• Laundry
• Pack three weeks worth of books to read
• Pack anything I don’t want the packers to pack
• Clean out cars and prepare for them to be shipped

^1. Lily’s walk turned into her walking us. I had to carry her most of the way because she was tired after getting a rabies shot and a thermometer stuck up her butt.

The Witch..err…I mean Regan bought Lily a new wardrobe and a life jacket. The life jacket is in case we take her out when we go kayaking. I’m not sure what Regan did with the other pictures of Lily in her new outfits but here she is in the life jacket. Lily is not very happy with us.

1. Have a natural disaster strike your city and you have to evacuate you and the cat. Do not sedate the cat when placing it in the carrier. Also it would be best if the evacuation would take two days with you having to stop overnight at a place with other cats.
2. Evacuate to a place that has other cats where you have to keep your cat locked up so that it doesn’t kill the other cats (your cat is the mean one after all;-)
3. Leave to go look for a new place to live and board the cat at a local kennel. Do this for a minimum of four days.
4. After finding a new place to live, the place must be a minimum of two and a half hour drive from where the cat is boarded, remove the cat from the kennel and let it stay overnight at the place you evacuated to.
5. The next day drive the cat to the new place, again do not sedate the cat when placing it in the carrier. Release the cat and let it get adjusted to the new place before approaching. At this point the cat should be pretty nice.

If the cat has a relapse place it in a room for about 20 min, the time it takes the maintenance people to clean the air conditioner;-) The cat will now be the sweetest cat in the world and will not want to leave your side. It will even follow you into the bathroom and bug you while you are trying to do your business.

Regan and I drove back from Houston today and she had Lily in her car for most of the trip and I had the cats. We stopped about 30 miles outside of Austin because Lily was going crazy in her car. We all used the restroom and then set out for Austin again. Regan had me take Lily for the rest of the trip. Lily was a little angel. She got out of her purse and slept in my lap until we got into Austin.

So Tangi, the hell spawn that she is, usally doesn’t want to have anything to do with me unless I am trying to work at my desk. She loves to sit on my keyboard and prevent me from doing any work. If I try to move her I get attacked and hissed at and then she proceeds to try to sit on the laptop’s keyboard. Of course this doesn’t work and I have to shoo her away again. To save me from being attacked twice I put a clip board on the laptop’s keyboard. Now it is her favorite place to take a nap.

I get asked this while I was drunk over the week-end:

regan: If you could save me or Lily(the dog) from a burning building who would you save?
jparks: I would throw Lily and pick you up.
regan: THE ONLY CORRECT ANSWER WAS ME!

I think I got yelled at for saying that I would throw the dog too. I SO CAN’T WIN!